Forget Me Not

TOM CRUISE

2009-02-04T04:46:09Z

I don't know why I made my subject that. Nothing much has been happening. Yup

"talent" these days.

2009-02-01T23:54:19Z

I am listening to this awful song because a girl on facebook said he is mega attractive and has a great voice. He has neither looks nor talent. It is awful. But anyways. Going to see that movie tonight, maybe. I have the sniffles. I just got out of the shower and I feel clean :3

Will You Still Love Me In The Morning?

2009-02-01T05:16:32Z

I was lonely, so I thoroughly cleaned my house. Well, my room and my livingroom and bathroom. And the kitchen....so basically my house. Their room is their problem. First I pouted a lot. But vacuuming releases the pain. So I vacuumed. I'm glad I finally had sex. It was pretty painful, though. The first time, at least. Zacharius was very pleased to have finally lost his virginity. And I was pleased to have "lost" mine again.
Shawn's brother was being a douche all weekend though. I had to clean up after him all weekend and I was so upset. He treated us like crap and then wonders why everyone hates him? And then as soon as I started to do the same to him, he freaked out and ran out of the house. It's ridiculous. He's a pansy that can't take his own medicine. And worst of all, I think he stole my cell phone and left it somewhere. I hate him. I really wish cancer upon him. I wish he would just disappear. That house is so much better without him, and I can't understand how his mother can love him. How could anyone love him? He's an asshole. Even his father and brother think so. Just his mother... that's so sad, and so ridiculous. And his friends spur him on to be even more evil. So he becomes WORSE when they're around. Ugh. He made my weekend worse.
I want to see that movie quite badly.

hey hey

2009-02-01T05:09:42Z

Had sex. It was good. TWICE. Hellz yeah.
Chillin with the Mumzilator.
I really want to see the movie "Let The Right One In"

looks really good.

kinda lonely.
no homework.
bad grades.

damn

2009-01-29T05:32:30Z

I keep forgetting about this site!
but nothing has really happened so whatever.

fuuuuck almost a week, dawg!

2009-01-20T18:33:22Z

yeah it's been a fucking loooong time (long cat is looooong hahaha)
nothing much has been happening. Zach and I have been blissful, as have I and my friends. Zach's parents suck and his mother should just disappear into the ground. His dad's actually really cool, though. His mom's dead annoying. Yeah.
And then on Saturday night, suddenly, I grew very, very sick. By Sunday morning, I was delirious with illness, clutching a large pot in my bed and groaning in my sleep. This continued on for all of Sunday, and yesterday I faired slightly better...but I still feel quite awful. Last night I slept horribly. I kept breaking out into these cold sweats... I was like, too hot and too cold at the same time and I couldn't sleep even though I had taken Nyquil. I don't think I am doing very well. I hurt all over and I just want it to be over.

Don't Trust Me

2009-01-15T00:48:40Z

So I admitted something to Zacharius that I was barely able to admit to myself: I'm so fucking addicted to all ADD drugs. Haha. They make my life so amazing and I want them so bad. So he's gonna share with me. I know that's terrible, and we're probably gonna end up fighting over the drugs in the end (they are VERY addictive) and it'll suck. But Eric used give me my fix and I missed it soo much. I bought some from Mory earlier this year, and it made me sooo intensely focused that I couldn't help but smile. So Zach is giving me my fix. Hooray.
I'm at Brooke's trying to help her with math, but it's all fucked up so she's getting really frustrated. Aagh I wish I could help her!! But she's at the table now trying to work on her own D:
Finishing up some homework... but I don't have my fucking lab book so I can't do my homework for that. And math has been really stressing me lately because it's all programming bullshit that I don't understand very well. So I don't even know what my homework is in THAT subject; damn.
I really like this song.
I'm excited to get some druuuugs.
smoking this weekend (of course)
dressed super cute today :D

Pothead?

2009-01-14T00:49:04Z

sort of a pothead... yes yes, so disappointing I know. But it's just so much fun! Smoking until I'm so stoned I accidentally set my hair on fire, analyzing how the world works, laughing a fucking lot, then passing out in a boy's arms. Anything better than that?
We're smoking again this weekend, should be killer.
School is dull. Yet, amazing. I do like math and Japanese.
Both are languages that excite me with each new "word" I learn.
Zacharius' parents took him to get tested for ADD today. That is a unenjoyable fact, because I know for sure that ritalin and such are very very unhealthy. Though I use them recreationally, they have bad affects when used how the doctor prescribes (which is like, way too much in a day). They cause depression, decrease in weight (which is cool for me...before the depression starts), and neglect towards friends. They're not good for the social life, love life, or just life in general. And it scares me to think of him taking them... and how much he'll change if he does.

Pathetic!

2009-01-11T23:22:45Z

In love.
Smoked with boys on Friday night
got so fuckin blazed
also attempted sex
with Zach
he also asked me out
it's cool
:)
I'm gonna do it!! hooray

All The Things I Put You Through...

2009-01-09T19:49:30Z

Had a big fight last night with Tyler, but I got an email of apology just now.
Nothing much has been going on... I am single again. My theory on the matter is that Jon left me because I don't do the dirty things. I don't know, I'm just not very comfortable with that stuff. It's not 'cos of Eric or anything... or maybe it is I don't know. I just know I don't think of him as the reason... it just makes me nervous to think of kissing... and especially of having sex again. That terrifies me. My body disappoints me and I don't want it to disappoint anyone else.
Took "The Plan", which is an ACT practice and I got a bomb score on it, which is pleasing. School seems easier this year.
I'm supposed to be working on an essay right now, hehe.
Peace out, dawg.

Fife.

2009-01-07T00:04:35Z

I put an "F" in front of things that fail. I feel like my life is kind of bleak. I'm so angsty x3 haha. But really, being a dumbass teenager in high school seems sort of... retarded. Lykesrsly. I'm at Brooke's, putting music onto my fiPod (Fail Pod <3) and pretending I'm alright. I didn't eat much today, and I think it's because I'm sad. I drink Mountain Dew to perk myself up, but it's a temporary jolt.
Just chatting. Wasting precious study time. I should probably get to that....

Failpod.

2009-01-06T01:12:02Z

updating my failpod (it's an iPod that fails)
wearing awesome bright blue pants.
have orchestra tonight.
in love :D haha and delusional!

Best chat ever

2009-01-04T20:25:07Z

[21:58] Zach Bergquist: you just wont admit it
[21:58] Zach Bergquist: because you regret it
[21:58] Emmzilator Orton: I would never regret that
[21:58] Emmzilator Orton: fine fine
[21:58] Emmzilator Orton: I admit it
[21:58] Emmzilator Orton: I love the feel of your hands on my body
[21:59] Emmzilator Orton: I love when you run your fingers down my curves
[21:59] Emmzilator Orton: I love curling up to you
[21:59] Emmzilator Orton: I love kissing you
[21:59] Zach Bergquist: i love you
[22:00] Emmzilator Orton: what?
[22:00] Emmzilator Orton: what?
[22:00] Zach Bergquist: thought it was too soon
[22:00] Emmzilator Orton: I don't think I can breathe
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: breathe in
[22:01] Emmzilator Orton: I'm dying
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: breath out
[22:01] Emmzilator Orton: my face is really hot
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: breathe in
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: breathe in
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: breathe out
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: dont die
[22:01] Emmzilator Orton: oh my god I love you.
[22:01] Zach Bergquist: :D

Picture Takin' Fun

2009-01-04T04:36:37Z

Took lots of pictures
uploading/editing them
got new clothes with Mumzilator today
it was fun :)
Au revoir.

Happy Three Day Über Late New Year :D

2009-01-03T08:27:59Z

been a while.
nothing much has happened.
Arms ripped off by my two vikings (fighting over me, the damsel.)
Some dirty tomfoolery on my part.
Sleeping in the arms of men to satisfy my loneliness.
ya know, the usual.

ahem

2008-12-27T20:54:17Z

oh, and a fact I may not have mentioned: Jon and I have been dating for a week.
Yeah. Fucking A.
I had a dream that I travelled through a door to a hidden world and Eric was there and he was being really nice and he had cute hair ugh. I hate how much I miss him. Oh well. It was a nice dream... and I wasn't sad when I woke up. Progress, eh?

Stupid Hormones

2008-12-27T20:50:57Z

Zacharius did not come over last night, because his parents are becoming more annoying in their antics to make him a better person, which I am against. I think he is a fine person, with no freedom, leading to him sneaking out and doing bad things. So really, his change is their fault. But whatever. Enough teenage logic. I fell asleep much earlier than usual last night (because of the absence of a certain boy) and I wonder if Bree and Shawn had sex while I was asleep on the couch next to them... ew. Whatever. Woke up because Zach called to apologize for not arriving.
I think I shall go home soon, to clean. Gosh I love cleaning. I really want to sweep and wash my floors oh baby yes yes yes! Haha. And I would love another shower... maybe write a song on my guitar. That'd be nice. We'll see how it goes. First, I think I'll sit here on this comfortable couch, and blog a bit.
'kay now I'm done.

Who Are You?

2008-12-27T03:54:39Z

Editing iPod
incredibly "angry" (actually, HORNY)
my foot is asleep.

Just Breathe.

2008-12-26T00:03:46Z

I am just relaxing, and getting a bit hungry. I think dinner should be done soon, and then I'll get dressed (right now I'm chillin my favourite sweats, but alas, they have a huge fucking hole in an embarrassing place) and head to Shawn's house (Home 002). I'm sitting by the fire, turning myself occasionally so my skin doesn't sting, and marveling at how selfish I seem... I haven't gotten anyone presents, though they care about me enough to think about what to get me. People are soo nice to me, but all my niceness stays inside.. hiding, and ashamed. Gosh I sort of hate myself.
Just got off the phone with Zacharius. Yup.
I feel fat today, because I think my BMI is verging on overweight... which sucks. Urgh. I used to have a BMI of like 19, now it's like 25 (which is the maximum). I hate that I let myself go. And I'm just falling down the rabbit hole, too. I used to be a size 1, now I'm a size fucking five. Urgh. I hate my body.

Happy Jesus Day

2008-12-25T21:41:16Z

Yeah, not religious thank you very much. But today was a good day. My mother surprised me by buying out a stores entire stock of a certain toothpaste I love. I wrote very thoughtful "thank you" cards, received a good amount of oral hygiene helpers, and my hair is wavy from braids. But for some reason, I don't feel happy. Whatever. Let's get over the holiday blues. I'm planning on buying myself a kickass bra tomorrow.
Can't stop thinking about sex.
AAAAAAGH.

bi tei double yu

2008-12-25T07:09:43Z

It snowed a foot since I last posted. I don't mean last posted like, ten minutes ago, I mean like, the twentieth. Yeah. I was reading through my posts and saw the "when will the snow come 'round to visit" thing, and I laughed out loud because the snow is fuckin' deep, and annoying. I'm so sick of it now. Srsly, sucks.

Why Are There Only Twelve Days of Christmas?

2008-12-25T06:54:35Z

Home from the Jacobson house, where all was merry and bright. Duh. Always is. Ate so much that I'm sure if I put on a red shirt, kids would scream "Kool-Aid!!". Yeah. But it was SO GOOD. Bitchin'. Sooo... time has flied... Or fled. Whatever. Soooo. Nothing much has been going on. Boys annoy and confuse me, you know, being a teenage girl an' all. But I'm starting to enjoy the season more. Mumzilator bought me toothpaste for Christmas. Now, this may sound rude to you, but to me, it's wonderful. It's that AQUAFRESH foamy stuff that whitens :D I love my teeth and I love having them be BEAUTIFUL. My smile is awesome, and it should stay that way :3
Saw my brother today, which was actually really cool. He's no longer stoned 24/7 so he was ADHD and pleasant instead of the usual arrogant asshole I have grown to hate. In fact, I now love him. And he's giving me weed for Christmas. Hooray! Go cannabis!
Zacharius and I have grown closer; Jon and I have grown further apart. But that is teen angst that is unnecessary, so I'll sum it up: I want to bang Zach. Zach wants me to be all his. Jon thinks we're dating, and he's an annoying sonuvabitch. The end. Fin. Yup.
My FATHER sent me something for Christmas–I haven't gotten it yet, but I am very shocked.
I want my friends to give me presents :( to be exact, I want Jon and Zach to give me presents. I just want something romantic this Christmas urgh. But nooooo. Whatever. Teenage girl mind-shit. Let's move on.
Happy holidays everyone :3

Snow baby.

2008-12-21T01:47:09Z

Snowed today, of course. It's just going to keep snowing until I actually do get frost bite (which I came very close to, because I stepped into my house). Letting my hair dry so that it doesn't snap off like icicles off a car when I step outside. It's around 23 degrees out here in good ol' Washington, and I'm growing weary of it. I miss being able to feel my phalanges. I'm afraid they might start falling off too, and I wouldn't even notice.
Going to Home 003 tonight to have some girl time, and be in a house warmer than below freezing. Oh, and I belong to someone now. Yes, Jonathon claimed me even though every night this week I've been falling asleep in Zacharius' arms. Oh whatever. I keep imagining myself as some damsel in the middle of a field with two vikings charging at me, roaring and pounding their chests with impressive display of testosterone. And of course, Jonathon being the biggest "dick" of them all, scooped me, the struggling "damsel" up onto his horse and rode off. Maybe I'll learn how to milk a cow.
It shouldn't be that hard, you just yank on the utter right? The pink stuff? Huh. Now I'm curious. Who thought to just you know, squeeze and pull on an utter? "Hey, look at that disgusting squishy thing on the underside of that cow. Let's increase pressure on it to see what comes out, and then drink those contents." Ew. That's truly disgusting.
Ugh my hair is curling. I feel like Maid Marian. If you didn't notice, I'm in a whimsical story-telling mood. But unfortunately, I cannot type fast enough (because my fingers are numb) to follow this whimsical dancing fae in my head. So fuck it. Fuck the cold.
I'm a summer baby.

Weird girl

2008-12-18T06:17:26Z

So today was nice. There was a snow day, even though it didn't snow, so obviously the school board's psychic powers are faulty. I've decided to refrain from the teen angst because I feel like a whiny bitch just reading it, so writing it.. well, let's just put it this way: I don't want to be like Stephenie Meyer! This song is really beautiful, and sometimes I sing along and pretend Simon Cowell is sitting in front of me gasping from an orgasm he had at the sound of my voice. Yeah whatever, that would never happen. American Idol is sooo lame now anyways, that if I did make it on, no one would care unless I made my clothes slutty and swore a lot when they criticized me. People are all for the crazy bitches nowadays.
But whatever. I can be my own version of crazy.
It snowed a couple hours ago (but that does NOT clarify the school's ESP skillzorz because it snowed AFTER 3:00.) and so the streets are fucking INSANE. I kind of hope that it's another snow day tomorrow, but at the same time I fully embrace my love for academics and cannot help but want to have math class. Plus, in Japanese, we're having a Christmas party. Plus fried chicken. How could I ever want to pass that up?? Chicken soaked in hot oil and strangely hyper and annoying kids speaking in a foreign language... I fit in perfectly.
I bid you goodnight.

Stupid shit

2008-12-17T06:20:15Z

" She is killing me burning only for him..."
I enjoy this song.
Today was a good day.
But I am more confused than ever.
Jon is dumping Bella for me.
Zach still hasn't asked me but we're getting even closer now that we can't hang out (he's grounded).
And this guy, Josh, who is a total drug fiend.. well he was a guy that I set my eye on as soon as I saw him: in the hall, in the band room, etc. Don't know why, but I did. And now we're talking and I REALLY LIKE HIM!!!
I should shoot myself.